It is Christmas day morning and Saxon came to me in a dream.
If felt so real, I didn’t want to wake up.
I cried and cried.
I miss you my boy, thank you for coming to me.
I still battle with how you died. Please forgive me for not taking control of the situation, for not screaming and interfering and pushing the vet away. It was so wrong and I am so sorry. You deserved a fear free death, not the butchery they did on you. I am so sorry. It broke my heart and I can’t make peace with it. Is there a way for you to forgive me? (I obviously can’t forgive myself). It still feels like those last five minutes wiped out and tainted the 13 years we spent together. If feels like I broke your trust and betrayed you. Dear dear Saxon, I love you so much.